I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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