just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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