with your own penis?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
