I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
