cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
