hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
