this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
