dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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