I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
