absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
