Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
