Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
