so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
