I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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