chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
