Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
