I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
