a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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