that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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