You really coming over, don't trick.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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