I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
