I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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