we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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