Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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