all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
