it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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