omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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