do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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