That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
