I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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