At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
