He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
