There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
