So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Hippo gnu deer
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
