I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize