i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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