there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
