can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
