it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
