i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
