if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
