We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
