My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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