My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
