Me. At least after what I've been through.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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