I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
