And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
