Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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