Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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