sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
