I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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